Adoption Consultants, Inc.
Birth Parent Line:
1-800-605-4588
(1-800-605-4LUV)
Adoptive Parents:
(818) 766-2222
Adoption Consultants, Inc.
E-mail: info@adoptionconsultantsinc.com
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25. If our birthmother resides in California, we can finalize in California if we are not residents?
Adoption Consultants is a state regulated adoption facilitation service, assisting adoptive parents all across the United States and Canada to adopt. Adoption Consultants was founded by Cathy Mantell, M.S. who has worked in the adoption field since 1989. Adoption Consultants, Inc. is a member of the Better Business Bureau in good standing, enjoying an A+ rating - the highest possible rating! The office is neither a licensed adoption agency nor adoption attorney, but works hand-in-hand with licensed agencies and ACAL/AAAA adoption attorneys nationwide in facilitating our adoptions. Our Center provides affordable Facilitation Services, as well as a Registration Program for those who prefer not to remit facilitation fees prior to locating a birthmother. Our role is to provide you with adoption education, guidance and emotional support, as well as to assist you in designing an adoption plan that best fits your needs, both emotionally and financially. The office provides a caring, supportive and non-judgmental environment for you to freely explore and pursue adoption. Individuals of all ages, races and marital status are welcome! [Return to top]
Adoption facilitators must adhere to state laws and regulations. Adoption Consultants, Inc. is based in California, and is therefore governed by California’s regulations. As defined by the State of California, Family Code commencing with Chapter 1.5, Section 8623: “Adoption facilitators may advertise for the purpose of soliciting parties to an adoption or locating children for an adoption, and may act as an intermediary between the parties to an adoption.” [Return to top]
There are many advantages. The primary focus of Adoption Consultants, Inc. is to locate birthmothers on a routine and ongoing basis, day in and day out. Many adoption attorneys and agencies admit this is not their area of expertise, and they have very limited, if any, programs by which to locate potential birthmothers. This means they typically do not search for or locate birthmothers. If any programs do exist, they are generally very limited in scope due to lack of time or staff necessary to allocate towards an aggressive birthmother search program through advertising, networking and outreach. Alternatively, their primary focus tends to be on maintaining an adoption plan and assisting adoptive parents as to the legal aspects of their adoption, not on the birthmother search process. Therefore, choosing to work with an adoption attorney or agency may tend to dramatically lengthen the wait time to adopt. For example, it is not unusual for an adoptive parent seeking to adopt a Caucasian newborn infant to wait 3-5 years using the services of an attorney or agency to locate a birthmother. Even those open to a bi-racial placement may wait some time before mutually matching with a birthmother.
The key to being able to adopt in a timely fashion remains exposure. Getting your birthmother letter out to as many birthmothers are possible, as often as possible. Statistically speaking, the more often your letter is shared with birthmothers, the quicker you may be selected. At Adoption Consultants, Inc. we work tirelessly and focus all of our efforts on providing an aggressive birthmother search program in order to present your birthmother letter to as many birthmothers as possible, in as timely as fashion as possible. To help achieve this goal, in addition to our general advertising and nationwide outreach programs to locate birthmothers, our Center routinely physically goes out into local and surrounding communities visiting facilities birthmothers may contact for assistance such as hospitals, medical and community facilities to ensure these facilities are well aware of the services this office provides to birthmothers, and that they have an ample supply of our materials on hand to share with birthmothers who are exploring their options. The office also distributes our own Adoption Book of Waiting Families to organizations that assist pregnant women as part of our current outreach program. Our materials are remitted to facilities which we are unable to personally visit. The office is also available to speak via educational lectures and presentations to organizations that assist birthmothers in an effort to help better educate them as to the process of adoption, as well as about the wide variety of adoption plans available to birthmothers. Adoption Consultants, Inc. firmly believes when a organization comes to know you personally through continuing, ongoing and routine contact, they will think of your services and share them when a birthmother is seeking direction and options. Adoption Consultants, Inc. also maintains a nationwide network of professional contacts comprising of adoption professionals, primarily licensed adoption agencies and AAAA/ACAL attorneys.
Adoption Consultants, Inc. maintains a very limited clientele base (approximately 30 families) with the goal that each might realize their dream to adopt within a reasonable amount of time. Many adoption organizations, including attorneys and agencies, do not limit their clientele. Many maintain in excess of 100-300+ clients, slowing down the process and increasing wait time. Additionally, many agencies maintain a wait list. You have no input as to the type of adoption plan, birthmother, or baby you are seeking. With Adoption Consultants, Inc., we will work with you to create an adoption plan that specifically meets your individual needs and comfort level. You can choose any criteria you feel is important in locating just the right birthmother. Many attorneys and agencies do not allow you to select your own criteria, leaving you no choice as to what birthmother traits you deem to be important. By utilizing the services of Adoption Consultants, Inc. you may speed up your wait time to be selected by a birthmother from years to only months, in addition to having the opportunity to specify what criteria you feel is important to you! The timeframe for prospective adoptive parents to be identified by a birthmother as a family she is interested in placing with is anticipated to be sometime within the first year following remittance and distribution of their birthmother letters. Our quickest matches have been within 2-3 days! [Return to top]
Do I need to hire an adoption attorney and/or licensed adoption agency to handle the legal aspects of my adoption?
Yes. At the time you and a birthmother have mutually selected each other for the purpose of pursuing and completing an adoption plan, you must seek legal advice and services of a competent adoption attorney and/or licensed agency to handle of the legal aspects of your adoption plan, including termination of parental rights and finalization, as well as ensure the laws of both your state as well as the birthmother’s state are abided by. You may choose any attorney or agency you wish. However, Adoption Consultants, Inc. has reputable adoption professionals the office networks with in most states to refer you to, upon request. Once matched, the office will continue to guide you throughout the process. [Return to top]
Some clients of Adoption Consultants, Inc. do choose to locate their own birthmother in an effort to minimize their overall adoption costs. However, individual advertising can run adoptive parents several thousand dollars within a very short period of time. It is not unusual for one to run out of advertising dollars prior to locating a suitable birthmother. For those adoptive parents who prefer Adoption Consultants, Inc. to assist them by searching for a potentially suitable birthmother, through our Contractual Facilitation Program, the office provides ongoing general advertising and outreach targeted to reach potential birthmothers. Our Yellow Page advertising alone reaches into hundreds of communities with a population exceeding several million people! As part of our current outreach program, Adoption Consultants, Inc. also distributes our own Adoption Book of Waiting Families to organizations that assist pregnant women. Through our Contractual Facilitation Program, you don’t have to worry about running out of advertising dollars, as a partial initial remittance of less than-half (approximately 40%) of our standard facilitation fee is due upon contracting. As a Facilitation client of Adoption Consultants, Inc., upon your providing the office with your birthmother letter, we can present you to birthmothers whose criteria you meet, as well as who meet your criteria. To learn more about our Contractual Facilitation Program, Click: Contractual Facilitation Program. To view our Comparison Chart as to how this program truly does excel over other programs, Click: Comparison Chart. [Return to top]
Adoption Consultants, Inc. assesses a reasonable fee for services (without any re-match fees), and structures payments over time to help alleviate financial constraints for our clients. Many adoption organizations request either their full fee up front, or payable over a short period of time. In our Contractual Facilitation Program, the facilitation fee is divided into two parts: an initial remittance of less than half (approximately 40%) of our facilitation fee becoming due at the time a Facilitation Contractual Agreement is remitted, with the balance ONLY becoming due at the time a birthmother and adoptive parent mutually agree to enter into an adoption plan. Not only do we find this method assists our families in financing their adoption pursuit, but also provides them with peace of mind in knowing the balance of their fee will not become due until a birthmother they deem suitable has been located. Additionally, should you choose to terminate the adoption process pre-match, the balance remaining will NOT apply.
Once matched, the office does not assess additional fees for the ongoing post-match services it provides while guiding our clients all the way through the adoption process. In the event your adoption plan does not successfully complete for any reason, Adoption Consultants does not assess re-match fees to render additional facilitation services under the existing terms of your Facilitation Contractual Agreement.
You may always choose to pass or terminate an adoption plan in the event any information received regarding the birth parent(s) or child is not acceptable. Your decision will always be supported!
Contact the office to obtain our current facilitation fee. In addition to our facilitation fee, you will need to budget for legal fees and home study fees, any travel expenses, as well as any legally allowable pregnancy related living expense assistance you are comfortable assisting with. Generally legal and home study fees can be staggered throughout the course of your adoption plan. [Return to top]
Yes. Adoption Consultants, Inc. maintains a limited clientele base, approximately 30 families. By limiting the number of facilitation clients we work with, we are able to maximize our clients’ exposure to potential birthmothers. Thus, whenever your criteria meets a birthmothers, your profile will be shared with her! With such a limited clientele base, a minimal number of profiles are initially remitted to a birthmother for review. It is not unusual for other adoption organizations (facilitators, agencies and attorneys) to maintain in excess of 100-300+ clients, as accepting more clients generates more fees, while it also slows down the process and increases wait time. Further, even if do you meet a birth mother’s criteria, your profile may never be shared, as numerous other clients also may meet her criteria.
At Adoption Consultants, Inc., our primary goal is to help facilitate a match between an adoptive parent and birthmother within a reasonable amount of time. The timeframe for contracted clients to be identified by a birthmother as a family she is interested in placing with is anticipated to be less than one year following remittance and distribution of their birthmother letters. Our quickest matches have been within 2-3 days! By keeping our clientele base low, we are also able to provide our clients with individualized attention and personalized services, which other adoption organizations simply cannot provide. The office encourages our clients to maintain ongoing contact with us throughout the adoption process, and never want a client to ever feel “rushed” or as though we do not have the time to speak with them. We are here to provide you with the emotional support and guidance you require throughout this incredible journey! [Return to top]
Since Adoption Consultants, Inc. is located in California, can you assist adoptive families outside of California?
Yes. Adoption Consultants, Inc. provides services to prospective adoptive parents from across the United States and Canada. [Return to top]
Yes. Unlike many other adoption organizations, the office provides our contracted families with a number of ways to contact us after business hours should an emergency arise. The office is also reachable on holidays, as well.
Adoption Consultants, Inc. is available to birthmothers 24 hours/7 days a week. The office answers our birthmother lines directly after hours in the evenings and during the weekends, including holidays. These are prime hours birthmothers may place their initial call for help. Being available for immediate assistance eliminates the risk of losing a birthmother by not connecting immediately. [Return to top]
This refers to the amount of contact you will have with a birthmother pre and post birth. In an “open” adoption, you will have some degree of contact with a birthmother, at least pre-birth. Post-birth, it is not unusual for adoptive parents to send letter and picture updates to their birthmother for some period of time to be agreed upon in advance. In a “closed” adoption, you would have no contact with the birthmother, pre or post birth. There are variations to an ”open” or “closed” adoption. Some birthmothers prefer an “open” adoption plan pre-birth, but feel comfortable with a “closed” adoption post-birth. When the office works with you to create an adoption plan, we will discuss with you what degree of contact you are comfortable with, both pre and post-birth. Your birthmother letter will only be presented to birthmothers who share your comfort level. [Return to top]
A home study is not required in order for you to be presented to a birth mother involved in a private adoption. However, a completed, approved, current, updated home study is required before you may take placement of a child and leave the sending state with the child being adopted. (Exception: California allows California residents to begin their home study after the child has been placed if both the adoptive parents and birthmother are both residents of California.)
A home study is an approval process by the state in which you reside. It certifies you are qualified to adopt, and usually involves several interviews, an extensive evaluation as to your medical history, lifestyle, marital stability, financial status, as well as a criminal and child abuse background check. As part of the home study process, a social worker will visit your home to make sure it is a safe environment in which to raise a child. A current, updated, complete, approved home study will typically consist of fingerprint reports, child abuse index reports, supporting documentation, and a written report. Adoption Consultants, Inc. can recommend an organization in your state, or direct you to where you can obtain a home study. [Return to top]
It is a letter of introduction you write to potential birthmothers which represents your lifestyle. It typically addresses who you are as individual(s), your hobbies and interests, what you hope to offer to a child, and why you want to adopt. It will either include color photographs attached and/or incorporated within. As a contracted client of Adoption Consultants, Inc., the office will provide you with guidelines in order to create your letter, and will help you finalize it. Your letter is a very important and integral part of the adoption process, as it will serve as your initial introduction to a birthmother. [Return to top]
Primarily newborn infants and, on occasion, sibling groups and/or toddlers up to approximately 3-years-old. They are typically direct placements, and not through the foster care system. If an adoptive family chooses only to adopt a toddler or siblings, their wait may be greatly increased than if they are also open to a newborn. Adoption Consultants, Inc. places children of all races. [Return to top]
As a facilitation client, the timeframe for prospective adoptive parents to be identified by a birthmother as a family she is interested in placing with is anticipated to be less than one year following remittance of and distribution of your birthmother letter.
To help ensure each and every client adopts within a reasonable period of time, the office maintains a limited clientele base of approximately 30 families and engages in extensive advertising and outreach. Adoption Consultants, Inc. does not maintain a wait list. By severely limiting the clientele base, our clients profiles can be remitted whenever their criteria matches a birthmothers, whereas other adoption offices who maintain much larger clientele bases (not uncommonly 100+) may not present a client's profile even though their criteria matches a birthmothers simply because there are too many other clients vying for the same potential birthmother situation to present every client. Our quickest matches have been 2-3 days!
Depending on your criteria, wait time may be longer. If you are gender specific, although the office will work with you, this may extend your wait. Additionally, waiting for the right birthmother may be more of a challenge if: you are limited regarding race/ethnicity, already have several children, you are over age 50, your ability to financially assist a birthmother with legally allowable pregnancy living expense support is limited, you have a non-traditional lifestyle, and/or if you are particular about a birthmother’s physical appearance and/or lifestyle. If you are open to gender, race and/or special circumstances, your wait can be greatly reduced than for an adoptive family who stipulates a specific race, gender, birth location and/or limits birthmother pregnancy related living expense assistance. The length of time one waits is also dependent upon one’s desirability to a birthmother, as well as the flexibility of the adoptive family. Adoption Consultants, Inc's goal is to introduce you to a birthmother in the shortest time possible! [Return to top]
There is really no “typical” birthmother. Just as individuals vary in characteristics and personality traits, so do birthmothers. While the average age of a birthmother is generally between 17-years-old to 28-years-old, some are as young as 11-years-old, while others are as old as 43-years-old. It is not uncommon for a birthmother to already be parenting. Many are single, without the financial resources, education, or support system to help enable them in parenting. Some birthmothers are in high school or college, while others are pursuing their careers; some are married and feel they cannot take on the responsibility of another child; some are married, and have become pregnant outside of their marriage; some have become pregnant from a brief encounter; some birthmothers are homeless. Lifestyles vary dramatically among birthmothers.
It is a birthmother’s current life circumstance that generally prompts her decision to pursue adoption. Common motivating factors in a birthmother’s decision to place are: A belief that a traditional two parent family is preferable for a child than a single parent household; financial constraints; feeling unable or uninterested in parenting at this particular point in their lives. The decision to place a child for adoption is an extremely personal one, and a very difficult decision for the majority of most women. The choice to pursue an adoption plan with a particular birthmother is also a personal choice for adoptive parents, and will always remains yours to make. [Return to top]
All birthmothers’ criteria differ based on their individual life circumstance. However, for most birthmothers it is important the family she select are financially stable and secure, and are in a position in their lives to be able to offer a child all that she cannot, including a warm, loving and nurturing environment in which to grow and thrive. Most are seeking a better life for their child than what they feel they are able to offer. For some birthmothers, the age of the adoptive parents is a criteria, as well as the state the family reside in, if they have other children and what their religion is. For others, it is not unusual for a birthmother to have no idea of what they are looking for in an adoptive family….they will just know the right family when they come across them. It is also not uncommon to choose an adoptive family based on instinct. The good news is because there is so much variation between what a birth mother is seeking, and because families differ in their own ways, there should be someone for everyone! [Return to top]
Every birthmother views age differently. Some birthmothers consider an adoptive couple in their 20’s to be too young, while some believe a couple in their mid-30’s or 40’s is too old, preferring a couple in their 20’s. Some birthmothers feel most comfortable with a couple in their 40’s and up. Adoptive parents can be over the age of 50 and still be able to adopt, although it may be more of a challenge. More important than age is a couple’s lifestyle and who they are as individuals. This is what most attracts a birthmother to an adoptive family. Again, exposure is the key, having your birthmother letter presented to as many birthmothers as possible. [Return to top]
Having other children should not prevent you from adopting. Although some birthmothers do prefer a couple who is childless, for others it is very important the adoptive family they select already have children so there are siblings for the child to grow up with. If you already have several children, it may be more of a challenge to adopt. [Return to top]
There are birthmothers who understand just because they are not in a position in their lives to be able to parent as a single parent, there are single adoptive parents for whom parenting would pose no difficulty at all and, in fact, would only serve to greatly enhance their lives. With enough exposure, single individuals should be able to adopt too! [Return to top]
How does Adoption Consultants, Inc. handle an initial telephone call from a birthmother and what happens thereafter?
In a caring and non-judgmental manner, the office inquires into a variety of sensitive areas, such as a birthmother's reasons for considering adoption, expected due date, degree of birth father involvement, general health/pre-natal care, ethnicity of birth parents, any pregnancy related living expense financial needs, need for financial medical assistance, substance use (drugs, alcohol, smoking), if she has considered other options, as well as how her family and friends, as well as the birth father’s family, have or might react to her plans for adoption to help assess her commitment toward adoption. A birthmother is provided with information about adoption and the adoptive process, and asked what is important to her in finding the right adoptive family for her baby/child. The office is available to personally meet with local birthmothers to further discuss adoption, help them create an adoption plan that best fits their emotional needs and comfort level, and to share prospective adoptive parent profiles.
Background paperwork is provided, including birth parent medical/health and psychosocial histories, and Authorization for Release of Medical Records. Proof of pregnancy is requested, and any photographs of herself, the birth father and any children she may have. The office also assists in obtaining available applicable medical records for the birthmother and child. When a birthmother selects you as an adoptive family she is would like to place with, you will be notified. The office openly shares with you information received regarding the birth parent(s) and baby’s health. The office also reports in writing to you information that is provided the office by the birth parent(s) concerning a particular child. The office can assist in setting up an initial telephone call and/or meeting. At the time you and a birthmother mutually decide to proceed forward with an adoption plan, the office will continue to keep you informed whenever there is information to share. [Return to top]
With such a limited clientele base (approximately 30 families) a minimal amount of profiles are initially remitted to a birthmother for review, dependent upon the birthmother’s criteria, how general or specific it is, as well as our client’s criteria. Because the office limits the number of contracted families we assist, our families never have to compete with hundreds of other families to have their profile shown to potentially suitable birthmothers, a definite plus! [Return to top]
By the time a birthmother selects an adoptive family, how far along in the pregnancy is she generally?
A birthmother may call Adoption Consultants, Inc. when she is only a few weeks pregnant, or she may call after she has delivered the baby. Some may call when the baby is already 1 or 2-years-old. Typically, a birthmother is in her final trimester of pregnancy when calling.
Should a birthmother contact us when she is only a few weeks pregnant, the office will nurture our relationship along. providing her with education, emotional support, and guidance. Profiles of prospective adoptive families will be shared with her to give her an idea of the different types of families waiting to adopt, and to help her begin to get excited about an adoption plan! The office will discuss with her what type of adoption plan would make her comfortable, as well as discuss what she is looking for in a family.
In the event a birth mother contacts the office when she is in the hospital and about to deliver, the office will draw from our clientele pool those who have indicated they are open and ready for an immediate placement!
Most birthmothers are very healthy, even those who have put off seeing a physician for their pregnancy. Many birthmothers have already begun pre-natal care by the time they have contacted our office. Not uncommonly our clients are seeking healthy, drug free birthmothers. The office can request a birthmother ask her physician/clinic to do a drug panel on her to help determine drug exposure. Our birthmothers fill out medical/health and psychosocial background questionnaires. The office also requests all of our birthmothers sign an Authorization for Release of Information, providing medical records and information be shared with Adoption Consultants, Inc. as well as the adopting parents. When the baby is born, most hospitals routinely perform a toxicology screen on all newborns. If the birthmother has not obtained medical care for her pregnancy when she contacts the office, the office can assist her in making an appointment for a medical examination and lab tests with a local physician. Should you ever determine a birthmother’s or baby’s health to be unacceptable, you may always choose to terminate an adoption plan. [Return to top]
Birthmother locate Adoption Consultants, Inc from our ongoing general advertising, including Yellow Page advertising, outreach and networking programs. Birthmothers may also be referred to the office as a direct result of our personal visits to facilities birthmothers may contact for assistance, such as hospitals, medical and community facilities. Additionally, as part of the office's current outreach program, our very own Adoption Book of Waiting Families is distributed to organizations who assist pregnant women. Adoption Consultants, Inc. finds that by saturating these types of facilities with adoption education and our materials is a vital and important resource in locating and generating new birthmothers. The office also maintains a nationwide network of professional contacts comprising of adoption professionals, primarily licensed adoption agencies and AAAA/ACAL adoption attorneys. Birthmothers may also learn of the office through word of mouth, including prior birthmothers the office has assisted in the past. It is also not uncommon for a birthmother who previously placed to reconnect for a new adoption plan when finding herself pregnant again. [Return to top]
Yes. As of January 1, 2003, California now allows non-residents to finalize in California if the birthmother resides here. If you choose to finalize in California, an attorney and/or agency in your state of residency will probably not be required. California is a very adoption friendly state. California permits both independent and agency adoption. Adoptions may be finalized as soon as 5 months after the placement of the child with the adoptive parents, although the parental rights of the birthmother are terminated shortly after birth. (In an agency adoption, the birthmother may sign a consent to adoption, called a Relinquishment, anytime after the birth of the child and following hospital discharge orders.) The adoptive parents and child being adopted are typically required to appear in court for the final hearing, although it is possible a judge may waive your appearance. (Adoption Consultants, Inc. does refer to a travel agency which offers discounts to those traveling for adoption purposes.) [Return to top]
What background/medical information may we receive about a birthmother prior to deciding to pursue an adoption plan with her?
Proof of pregnancy; background information questionnaires, including medical/health history and psychosocial history; any available photographs of the birthmother, the birth father, and any children she may have; as well as available applicable medical records of the birthmother and baby. If you do not feel the information you have received is adequate, you may always choose to pass. Adoption Consultants, Inc. does not perform investigative services. Therefore, cannot corroborate the veracity of any information received. [Return to top]
Typically yes, unless specific circumstances dictate otherwise, such as a birthmother contacting our office from the hospital while delivering. However, Adoption Consultants, inc. will never "match" without verification of pregnancy. [Return to top]
Absolutely. Adoption Consultants, Inc. feels strongly counseling can help solidify an adoption plan in that a birthmother has the opportunity to fully explore her decision to place, and she is provided with the emotional support she needs during this time. Counseling can also help prepare her for the emotions she may feel during the pregnancy, at birth and beyond. [Return to top]
No. Many states do allow birthmothers to receive pregnancy related living expense assistance to cover necessities such as rent, food, utilities, transportation and maternity clothing. Laws vary from state to state. Some birthmothers need very little, if any, financial living assistance, while others need a good deal more. You may always choose to pass on a birthmother who is in need of financial assistance which you do not feel you can assist with. Should your birthmother require financial assistance, birthmothers we assist are requested to report all sources of income to be deducted from any living expense requests, minimizing financial exposure
to our waiting families. For any living expense expenditures, the office recommends the use of gift cards for whenever possible, as well as payments directly to vendors (landlords, telephone companies, utilities, etc.) to help ensure living expenses are allocated to where they are needed. It is generally not a good idea to discuss money with your birthmother. Thus, the office recommends you defer expense related issues to your attorney or agency. [Return to top]
Most birthmothers already have medical coverage, or will qualify for medical coverage through state aid. If a birthmother has private insurance, you will be asked to pay for any deductibles or co-pays, as all states call for birthmothers to be reimbursed for any out-of-pocket medical costs. If a birthmother does not have, or cannot obtain, medical insurance, the adoptive parents would be required to take care of her medical costs. You may always choose to pass on a birthmother if she does not have medical insurance. [Return to top]
This is strictly up to you, depending upon your own comfort level. If you do not feel comfortable speaking with or meeting a birthmother, your decision will be respected. “Closed” adoptions, however, may increase wait time. If a birthmother is open to contact pre-birth, the office strongly encourages clients to maintain at least a minimal amount of telephonic contact to help facilitate the bonding process. If a feeling of comfort, as well as a bond of trust, can be established between yourselves, these feelings can help solidify an adoption plan, as well as helping make the birthmother's placement easier at the time of birth. If it is possible for you to physically meet with your birthmother, it can be beneficial in that you both have the opportunity to learn more about each other than you might be able to on the telephone. Clients who are initially uncomfortable speaking with or meeting a birthmother generally feel more comfortable about the adoption process after doing so, as this serves to remove the “mystery” from the process, thus helping to alleviate fears and anxieties on both sides. The office will provide you with assistance in communicating with a birthmother, such as what questions to ask and what “red flags” to watch for.
Adoption Consultants, Inc. understands some clients fear if they have an “open” adoption pre-birth, the birthmother will not be able to disconnect post-birth, allowing the family to properly bond with their new baby. However, in reality, this is rarely the case. The vast majority of birthmothers desire closure, and want to move on with their lives. Choosing and meeting the adoptive family provides a birthmother with the comfort of knowing she has made the right choice, and that her child has found a warm, loving, nurturing and secure home.
Of course, some birthmothers prefer a “closed” adoption, with no contact pre or post-birth with the adoptive family. In such event, her wishes need to be respected. However, you maintain the right to choose not to pursue an adoption plan with a birthmother who prefers a “closed” adoption if this is something you do not feel comfortable with.
Post-birth, it is not uncommon for a birthmother to request letter and picture updates for some period of time. For some, it may be only for the first year or so. For others, it may be a longer period of time. Some birthmothers do not want any contact at all post-birth. Some birthmothers would like periodic telephonic contact to reassure them the baby is doing well, being well cared for and thriving. Some birthmothers may want periodic visits. Every birthmother’s emotionally needs are different, as every adoptive parent’s needs are. The office will review with you what your comfort level is for pre and post-birth contact, and present your profile only to birthmothers who feel similarly. [Return to top]
Birth fathers have rights which vary from state to state. There are various legal methods available whereby a birth father’s rights can be terminated, depending on the variables involved in your particular adoption plan. For instance, the birth father may either be known or unknown. If he is known, can he be located? If he is known, is he in agreement as to the adoption? It is not uncommon for a birth father to initially be skeptical about adoption. However, after learning more about the process and feeling included, and not shut out, they may become supportive, deciding adoption is the best option for all involved. Some birth fathers may not be willing to consent to an adoption, but they also will not fight it. Your attorney and/or agency will decide the best course of action in proceeding to terminate a birth father’s rights depending on the laws in the states involved and the birth father’s status. [Return to top]
Yes. Adoption Consultants, Inc. does not assess additional fees for the post-match ongoing services it provides, while helping guide you through your adoption process. At the time you and a birthmother have voluntarily and mutually agreed to select each other for the purpose of pursuing and completing an adoption plan, you must seek legal advice and services by retaining a competent adoption attorney and/or licensed adoption agency in your state and/or the state where the birth parent(s) reside to handle of the legal aspects of your adoption plan, including birth parent termination of rights and finalization, and ensure the laws of both your state as well as the birthmother’s state are abided by. The office will assist your attorney and/or agency in whatever manner we can, and we will continue to be here to assist you and your birthmother, providing you both with continuing emotional support and guidance throughout remainder of the adoption process. Although you may retain any attorney and/or agency you wish, Adoption Consultants, Inc. can refer you to reputable adoption professionals with whom we network with in most states, upon request. [Return to top]
What steps does Adoption Consultants, Inc. take to minimize the chance a birthmother may change her mind about adoption?
Statistically, the failure rate on adoption plans across the country is 50% or more due to various factors. However, this rate can be greatly reduced through proper screening, adoption education, guidance, emotional support, honesty, open communication, and taking into account what criteria is important to both birthmothers and adoptive parents in facilitating a custom adoption plan which best fits each parties needs, all of which Adoption Consultants, Inc. does.
When birthmothers and adoptive parents mutually match without consideration of each parties criteria, needs and comfort level, an adoption plan has a greater chance of failing. When parties are not honest with each other, or do not communicate openly, an adoption plan is at higher risk. When birthmothers are not properly screened by experienced adoption professionals, your risk increases of having a failed adoption. Cathy Mantell, M.S., Adoption Consultants, Inc.'s Founder and Director, is an experienced adoption professional, well skilled to screen and assess birthmothers.
Cathy has 22 years experience in the adoption field, having assisted hundreds of adoptive parents and birth parents in their adoption plans, a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, a Master of Science Degree in Counseling, graduating with Distinction, as well as practical experience in providing therapeutic counseling in non-profit counseling centers with individuals in crisis, including at a crisis trauma center catering primarily to women, as well as crisis hotline. Cathy is aware of what “red flags” to be on the lookout for, as well as how to assess a birthmothers circumstances surrounding her interest in placing in order to help better assess her commitment level.
The office does highly recommend and encourage all birthmothers to obtain therapeutic counseling which can not only provide them with additional emotional support, but can help them work through any ambivalence they may have about adoption, as well as help prepare them for the emotions they may feel during pregnancy, at birth and beyond. Adoption Consultants, Inc. believes counseling can help reduce the risk of a birthmother changing her mind. [Return to top]
Despite the above steps being taken to minimize the occurrence of a failed adoption plan, no one can ever guarantee a birthmother will be able to follow through with an adoption plan. All adoptions are at risk until the birth parent’s rights have been terminated. However, should your relationship with a birthmother not work out for any reason, Adoption Consultants, Inc. does not assess re-match fees to render additional facilitation services under the existing terms of your Facilitation Contractual Agreement. Many adoption organizations charge not only re-match fees, but may also charge for time spent during the “match.” At Adoption Consultants, Inc. our program is designed with the specific primary goal of helping build your family through adoption as smoothly, affordably, and as time efficiently as possible! [Return to top]
You can access additional adoption information by clicking on any of the below following topics:
ADOPTIVE PARENT FAQ
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